My Cart

Your Shopping Cart is Empty

Bachelorette Party Etiquette

Facebook Pintrest Twitter

Bacheloretiquette - The Guide to Bachelorette Party Planning

Last year my company helped with planning over 10,000 bachelor and bachelorette parties. A few questions frequently came up and I thought it would be helpful to discuss the top five bachelor(ette) issues that many wonder about:

Who pays for the bachelorette party? Many bridesmaids, maid-of-honor, and bridesmaids have emailed me and have asked if they have to pay for the whole bachelorette party themselves if they are planning the pre-wedding party. The tradition is no. Usually everyone who attends the party is supposed to help pay for the bride-to-be. It is not common for someone to have to cover the bill unless they are very generous. Since everyone is participating, everyone should help split the bill for the bachelorette. It is also helpful for the person(s) planning the pre-wedding party to ask everyone for money in advance since I have seen many get stuck with the majority of the bill if they wait until the party or after the party. My suggestion is to plan ahead and get everyone's email and phone number in advance so you can contact them about the amount as well as when you would like that amount by. It's the least the party-goers can do for those who are taking their time planning the event.

2) Do I have to purchase a gift for the bachelorette? It is customary to purchase a gift for the bridal shower but not for the bachelorette party. The bachelorette's "gift" is her party and everyone chipping in to pay for his/her memorable time. There is no need to purchase a gift. However, many do purchase bachelorette party supplies, favors, and gag gifts for the event which can be found in local stores or on the internet like our top bachelorette party site. Again, everyone should chip in if supplies, decorations or gag gifts are going to be purchased and a budget should be formed to know how much everyone wants to spend on supplies. The common amount is around $55-$65 all together which comes out at an average of $5-$10 each. Again, the planner of the pre-wedding party should ask for those going to chip in early before the event.

3) How do I plan a bachelorette party for those who are younger than 21? Many times there are some friends or family who fall into the under 21 range. I feel it is very important not to leave anyone who wants to go out of the pre-wedding party. A way to front this issue is to make the bachelorette party a two event night. The first part of the night would be for dinner with all the girls at one of the bride's favorite restaurants. After the dinner is over, those who are under 21 can complete the night with the others going out on the town to bars or clubs. Another way is to do activities that do not have an age limit including going to see a play, concert, exotic dance lessons, spa, home party or weekend getaway.

4) What should the bachelorette party be about? The big question is, "What does the bachelorette want to do for her party?" There are so many times when the bridesmaids want to plan a crazy night out when the bachelor(ette) does not want to get crazy. The important thing to remember about the party is that it is for the bachelorette and not as much for her friends. It is absolutely okay to ask the bachelorette what they want to do for their party. If you are still into surprising them, get a general idea and keep the rest of the evening a surprise but still appropriate for what they want to do. There have been way too many parties where the bachelorette is upset by the end of the night because of what his/her friends planned when all they wanted to do is hang out with their friends at a place they enjoy. Remember to plan for the bride-to-be's personality.

5) Does there have to be a bachelorette party? A majority of the brides do have a pre-wedding party besides the bridal shower but it is absolutely okay to not have a bachelorette party. Many who get married for the second time do not have bachelorette parties. Some make the wedding shower a couple's event and have everyone attend without having a bachelorette party. I went to a combined bachelor party and bachelorette party in Las Vegas where it was a fun couple's weekend with everyone always staying together and just having a great time without the traditional "Girl's Night Out" or "Last Night Out" agenda.

Any way you plan, the most important rule is to have a fun and safe time with lots of memories. The bachelorette parties are a great way for everyone who is involved in the wedding to meet. The parties should be as stress free as possible since it is all about having a great time with some great friends.