BACHELORETTE OATH OF SECRECY
 In the Contract/Oath below, you
must adhere to all guidelines and procedures in a strict
fashion. When the document refers to the Bachelorette, she will
be signified as "Queen B" and the girls consisting of the
Bachelorette party as "Divas."
Please take the following document as serious (seriously funny)
as possible since it will provide hours of fun and memories.
I __________________________
solemnly swear that on the weekend of ______________________,
2013 in celebration
of
___________________________'s Bachelorette party, I will abide
by the following rules and regulations:
1
There will be, in no way, pictures with boys, men, or any
animals while the Bachelorette party is in progress. Failure to
follow this rule will automatically make you lose your Diva
status for the weekend.
2 You will
consume
alcoholic beverages and promote drunkenly misconduct in the
safest and most appropriate fashion. If you are a sober driver
or have a note from a doctor, you are excused from drinking but
you must still promote animalistic behavior.
3 You must never
leave a single Diva or the Queen Bee unattended, due to boys-men
who are termed as Vultures, Sharks, Pigs, Mars, Tools for
Procreation…etc.
4 A Diva who has
too much alcohol or has poor taste and is speaking with sleazy
unattractive boys/men for more than one minute must be escorted
back to the Diva lair for protection and to save herself from
embarrassment (which would have possibly occurred the following
morning).
5 Embarrassing
the Bachelorette at least once per hour is mandatory.
Embarrassment can only take the form of attracting attention
toward the Queen B, and includes but is not limited to, finding
Boys or Men (prey) to help in satisfying the "Bachelorette
checklist" or Suck 4 Buck T-Shirt, waving adult party favor
items in front of the Queen B, dressing the Queen B up in
ridiculous outfits that Aunt Edna wouldn't even wear, and
keeping the Queen B up as late as possible!
6 Loud, obnoxious
outbursts are welcome during the Bachelorette festivities with
at least one type of alcohol shot purchased by the Divas for
Queen B consumption.
7 Dancing is
required by you and it is important to make sure all Divas and
Queen B are participating.
8 In case of the
emergency of a Diva needing to pray to the porcelain goddess or
visit Mr. Tidy Bowl Man, it is essential that you make sure one
Diva goes with the other Diva In Need (DIN).
9 It is your
responsibility to commute to a more exciting atmosphere when
Queen B and/or Diva energy is dwindling. You must interact with
other Divas to form a plan in moving to a more
exciting environment.
10 You will not,
at any time, think of work-related matters. If work does consume
your mind, you will forfeit Diva status and be seen as an
outcast by the Divas.
11 Before signing
the document below, I will say out loud, "What happens at
__________________ 's Bachelorette party STAYS at
___________________'s Bachelorette party!"
(Signature of
Diva)__________________________________________
Date__________________
(Signature of Diva In
Charge)__________________________________
Date__________________
Advice for the Queen B about marriage:
(Please return this form to the Queen B after
signing) |
