BACHELORETTE OATH OF SECRECY
 In the Contract/Oath below, you
must adhere to all guidelines and procedures in a strict
fashion. When the document refers to the Bachelorette, she will
be signified as "Queen B" and the girls consisting of the
Bachelorette party as "Divas."
Please take the following document as serious (seriously funny)
as possible since it will provide hours of fun and memories.
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I
__________________________ solemnly swear that on the
weekend of ______________________, 2009 in celebration of
___________________________'s Bachelorette party, I will
abide by the following rules and regulations:
There
will be, in no way, pictures with boys, men, or any animals
while the Bachelorette party is in progress. Failure to
follow this rule will automatically make you lose your Diva
status for the weekend.
-
You will consume
alcoholic beverages and promote drunkenly misconduct in the
safest and most appropriate fashion. If you are a sober
driver or have a note from a doctor, you are excused from
drinking but you must still promote animalistic behavior.
-
You must never
leave a single Diva or the Queen Bee unattended, due to
boys-men who are termed as Vultures, Sharks, Pigs, Mars,
Tools for Procreation…etc.
-
A Diva who has too
much alcohol or has poor taste and is speaking with sleazy
unattractive boys/men for more than one minute must be
escorted back to the Diva Layer for protection and to save
herself from embarrassment (which would have possibly
occurred the following morning).
-
Embarrassing the
Bachelorette at least once per hour is mandatory.
Embarrassment can only take the form of attracting attention
toward the Queen B, and includes but is not limited to,
finding Boys or Men (prey) to help in satisfying the
"Bachelorette checklist" or Suck 4 Buck T-Shirt, waving
adult party favor items in front of the Queen B, dressing
the Queen B up in ridiculous outfits that Aunt Edna wouldn't
even wear, and keeping the Queen B up as late as possible!
-
Loud, obnoxious
outbursts are welcome during the Bachelorette festivities
with at least one type of alcohol shot purchased by the
Divas for Queen B consumption.
-
Dancing is
required by you and it is important to make sure all Divas
and Queen B are participating.
-
In case of the
emergency of a Diva needing to pray to the porcelain goddess
or visit Mr. Tidy Bowl Man, it is essential that you make
sure one Diva goes with the other Diva In Need (DIN).
-
It is your
responsibility to commute to a more exciting atmosphere when
Queen B and/or Diva energy is dwindling. You must interact
with other Divas to form a plan in moving to a more exciting
environment.
-
You will not, at
any time, think of work-related matters. If work does
consume your mind, you will forfeit Diva status and be seen
as an outcast by the Divas.
-
Before signing the
document below, I will say out loud, "What happens at
__________________ 's Bachelorette party STAYS at
___________________'s Bachelorette party!"
(Signature of
Diva)__________________________________________
Date__________________
(Signature of Diva In
Charge)__________________________________
Date__________________
Advice for the Queen B about marriage:
(Please return this form to the Queen B after
signing)
Click here for a printable copy |
