BACHELORETTE OATH OF SECRECY
 In the Contract/Oath below, you must adhere to all
guidelines and procedures in a strict fashion. When the document refers to the
Bachelorette, she will be signified as "Queen B" and the girls consisting of the
Bachelorette party as "Divas."
Please take the
following document as serious (seriously funny) as possible since it will provide hours of
fun and memories.
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I __________________________ solemnly swear that on the weekend of ______________________,
2008 in celebration of ___________________________'s Bachelorette party, I will abide by
the following rules and regulations:
There will be, in no way, pictures with boys, men, or any animals
while the Bachelorette party is in progress. Failure to follow this rule will
automatically make you lose your Diva status for the weekend.
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You will consume alcoholic
beverages and promote drunkenly misconduct in the safest and most appropriate fashion. If
you are a sober driver or have a note from a doctor, you are excused from drinking but you
must still promote animalistic behavior.
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You must never leave a
single Diva or the Queen Bee unattended, due to boys-men who are termed as Vultures,
Sharks, Pigs, Mars, Tools for Procreation…etc.
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A Diva who has too much
alcohol or has poor taste and is speaking with sleazy unattractive boys/men for more than
one minute must be escorted back to the Diva Layer for protection and to save herself from
embarrassment (which would have possibly occurred the following morning).
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Embarrassing the
Bachelorette at least once per hour is mandatory. Embarrassment can only take the form of
attracting attention toward the Queen B, and includes but is not limited to, finding Boys
or Men (prey) to help in satisfying the "Bachelorette checklist" or Suck 4 Buck
T-Shirt, waving adult party favor items in front of the Queen B, dressing the Queen B up
in ridiculous outfits that Aunt Edna wouldn't even wear, and keeping the Queen B up as
late as possible!
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Loud, obnoxious outbursts
are welcome during the Bachelorette festivities with at least one type of alcohol shot
purchased by the Divas for Queen B consumption.
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Dancing is required by you
and it is important to make sure all Divas and Queen B are participating.
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In case of the emergency of
a Diva needing to pray to the porcelain goddess or visit Mr. Tidy Bowl Man, it is
essential that you make sure one Diva goes with the other Diva In Need (DIN).
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It is your responsibility
to commute to a more exciting atmosphere when Queen B and/or Diva energy is dwindling. You
must interact with other Divas to form a plan in moving to a more exciting environment.
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You will not, at any time,
think of work-related matters. If work does consume your mind, you will forfeit Diva
status and be seen as an outcast by the Divas.
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Before signing the
document below, I will say out loud, "What happens at
__________________ 's Bachelorette party STAYS at
___________________'s Bachelorette party!"
(Signature of Diva)__________________________________________ Date__________________
(Signature of Diva In Charge)__________________________________ Date__________________
Advice for the Queen B about marriage:
(Please return this form to the Queen B after signing)
Click here for a
printable copy |
