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Bachelorette Party Jokes - 2

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Bachelorette Party Joke 11:

A couple of young children are at day care one day when one of the little girls approaches Tommy and says, "Hey, Tommy, wanna play house?"
"Sure! What do you want me to do?" he asks.
The little girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings."
"Communicate my feelings?" questions a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means..."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."
 

Bachelorette Party Joke 12:

There are only two times in life when a man doesn't understand a woman:
Before the wedding and after the wedding.
 

Bachelorette Party Joke 13:
If Women Ruled The World ...

a.. Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.

b.. PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.

c.. Men would get reputations for sleeping around.

d.. Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pocket.

e.. A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.

f.. Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 30 pounds.

g.. Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.

h.. "Ms." Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models.

i.. Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.

j.. Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit.

k.. Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks".

l.. Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.

m.. Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles because there would be no pictures.

n.. Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful" and "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit".

o.. Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.

p.. Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.

q.. Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car.

r.. All toilet seats would be nailed down.

s.. Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers.

t.. TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute.

u.. All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.

v.. During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds.

w.. Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly.

x.. After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot. For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
by Kate, Columbia, Md.
 

Bachelorette Party Joke 14: Three Rings
Q: What are the three rings of marriage?
A: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring and Suffering
 

Bachelorette Party Joke 15: Lawn Mower
Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!
 

Bachelorette Party Joke 16: Understanding Women
Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women:
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
 

Bachelorette Party Joke 17: Sweet Dream
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
 

Bachelorette Party Joke 18: Men and Bonds
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
Bachelorette Party Joke 19: The Creation of Man
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Bachelorette Party Joke 20: Foreplay
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
 

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