Dear Dr. G,

I am going to be in my friend's wedding as the maid of honor and I was recently told that I am in charge of the bachelorette party! I have never planned one before and was wondering if I have to pay for the whole party!!! I love your site and the ideas you have but I don't have a lot of money.

Signed, Broke

Dear Broke,

Don't worry about the money situation, all the bridesmaids, bachelorettes and other friends should chip in! There is no tradition of the maid of honor fronting the bill. You can also make the party cheap by having it at someone's house or a bar and again having some of the other girls chip in to help out! I hope this is helpful and remember that you are there to have a great time with your friend who is getting married!

Dr. G

Dear Dr. G,

I am getting married in a few short months, and I am having doubts about my best friend as my maid of honor. she has a busy life, and it seems to me that she is not at all concerned about any bachelorette parties she had said she would hold. I am getting anxious. what can I do to jump start the whole idea? I have sent her emails, and links to web pages with ideas. she says, oh, how great, and then I never hear anything again. none of our other friends know what she plans to do either, so its not a surprise. any suggestions?

Hi Luana,

It sounds as if you are in a bit of a jam. One way is to let her know your concerns very delicately and see if she needs help in planning. If she is hard to confront, have some other girls you know are excited about the party call and tell her they want to help. The last thing you need to be worried about is your own party before the wedding! Hopefully by delicately confronting her or having friends help, you will feel more relieved.

Regards, Dr.G

Dear Dr. G,

I am going to my friend Vickie's Bachelorette party in a few weeks and was wondering what the etiquette is on bringing a gift? I don't have a lot of money and have already purchased her wedding shower and wedding gifts. I don't know any other girls in the Bachelorette party so I don't know what to do…Please help.

Signed Anxious
Houston, TX

Dear Anxious,

Good news is you don't have to bring a bachelorette party gift if you don't want to. Even though you don't know the Maid of Honor or other girl hosting the party, it may be a good idea to contact her and see if she knows what other girls are doing. If you do want to bring something small, check with the Maid of Honor since girls may be pitching in to purchase gag gifts, toys, and/or decorations, which are not expensive! Another idea is to take on the responsibility in creating the Suck-4-A-Buck t-shirt out of lifesavers and a cheap t-shirt or just bringing a card. Any way you decide, understand the Bachelorette will just be glad you are there!

Regards, Dr. G.

Dear Dr. G.,

I have been planning my friend's Bachelorette party and the Bachelorette's husband-to-be has been pestering me every few days about "not getting too wild". I feel really bad for him since he seems real upset about us going to Vegas for the weekend and is worried that his fiancé may end up kissing some boys or getting into some other kind of trouble. We are seriously not going to get wild with boys and my friend (Bachelorette) is very conservative and would never do anything like what he is worried about. What can I do to stop the madness?

Signed, Annoyed
Newport Beach, CA

Dear Annoyed,

You are not alone with this issue. Although usually roles are reversed with the Bachelorette usually more worried about her partner's behavior during his Bachelor party, many Bachelors worry about being away from their future wife. You can start off, which I am sure you have, by calming his nerves and stating that you, along with the other girls will look after his future wife and that the Bachelorette party is more about a girl's weekend than picking up on boys.

If the Bachelorette is conservative and has never shown flirtatious behavior that has made the bachelor insecure in the past, it would be great to ask the Bachelor why he thinks it would start now. You may also want to speak with the Bachelorette (if you haven't yet) and see if she can reassure him that nothing will happen. Although it may be a drag, the Bachelorette can call her groom once a day during the weekend to calm his nerves.

A fun thing to do is to buy the Bachelorette/Bachelor toys that they can use when she gets back from the weekend. If he knows about the gift before the Bachelorette party, he has something to look forward to and can treat the gift like a safety blanket. If his anxiety is extreme, there is most likely something going on that is too deep for a simple answer and he and/or his fiancé may need to seek counseling before the big day. I hope that is helpful.

Regards, Dr. G.

Dear Dr. G,

I am starting to get stressed about the bachelorette party since it is in two days and I wanted to make a cd of our favorite songs to drive to Vegas to! I was curious if you can provide me a list of top bachelorette party music to rock out to while we drive and sing some cheesy lyrics while having a great time with my friends. Thanks for your help.

Cheers,

Musically Challenged

Dear Musically Challenged,

It is common to run out of time while planning such a fun event since there are only so many hours in a day. I would suggest taking a look at the cd on this page here which has tunes voted most popular for bachelorette parties. I hope this is helpful and that you get "A LITTLE R-E-S-P-E-C-T" for doing such a great job and have a great time at the bachelorette party!

Regards, Dr. G.